FINDING DECEMBER
Some lessons about love are taught early, long before we have the language to question them.
In Finding December, Dr. Phyllis Bivins-Hudson reflects on the romantic patterns that took root in adolescence and followed her into adulthood. Growing up without models of emotional safety or healthy connection, she learned to equate love with endurance, loyalty with silence, and closeness with self-sacrifice.
What began as a teenage relationship became the first chapter in a cycle she did not yet know how to name.
Across years of romantic attachments, missed warnings, and emotional compromise, Phyllis searches for something she cannot fully articulate but instinctively needs: safety. With time, reflection, and lived experience, clarity slowly emerges, revealing how deeply our past informs who we choose, what we tolerate, and how we define love itself.
Written with honesty, restraint, and emotional insight, Finding December is an intimate exploration of love, self-worth, and identity—and what it takes to finally arrive at a place where love no longer asks you to disappear.
This memoir does not offer quick fixes or dramatic reckonings. Instead, it offers recognition, understanding, and the relief of seeing your own story reflected with care.
Finding December is for anyone who has loved deeply, compromised silently, and is finally ready to understand why and what comes next.
Inside This Memoir
A reflective journey through resilience, identity, and emotional truth.
Understanding the Patterns We Carry
An examination of how early childhood experiences and relationships shape adult romantic patterns
What Emotional Neglect Teaches Us
The subtle ways emotional neglect influences attachment, boundaries, and self-worth
The Cost of Love Without Clarity
Reflections on love, endurance, silence, and self-abandonment
The Path to Clarity and Self-Worth
A journey toward clarity, emotional safety, and self-recognition
This Book Is for Readers Who
- Have looked back at past relationships and wondered how they got there.
- Are unpacking patterns around love, attachment, and self-worth.
- Appreciate memoirs rooted in emotional truth and reflection.
- Are learning that love should not require self-erasure.
- Believe that personal stories can illuminate larger truths about resilience, belonging, and what it means to become yourself.
Available Formats
Choose the format that best fits your reading experience.
Paperback Edition
A tangible reading experience designed for your personal library. Thoughtfully crafted with care, this edition is perfect for those who cherish the weight of a book in their hands and the quiet ritual of turning pages.
- Beautifully printed edition
- Perfect for marking passages
- Ideal for book clubs or gifting
Digital Edition
Instant access to carry this story wherever you go. Designed for modern readers who value portability and convenience, the digital edition offers the same thoughtful narrative across all your devices.
- Immediate download after purchase
- Compatible with major e-readers
- Read anywhere, anytime
Whichever format you choose, this memoir is designed to be experienced thoughtfully and returned to often.
Begin the Journey
This memoir invites you into a story of truth, reflection, and quiet resilience. Written with clarity and care, it offers a space to pause, to feel, and to remember what it means to be human.
Available in paperback and eBook